Did Your Father? #BuildConfidence

“Black males who refuse categorization are rare, for the price of visibility in the contemporary world of white supremacy is that black identity be defined in relation to the stereotype whether by embodying it or seeking to be other than it…Negative stereotypes about the nature of black masculinity continue to overdetermine the identities black males are allowed to fashion for themselves.”
Bell Hooks, We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity
“For me, it’s not just about blessing my generation, I’ve done that already, I also have to be a father to the fatherless.”
Onyi Anyado

Happy Father’s Day!!


This video from the Representation Project speaks to the relationship we have as daughters — young and old — with our fathers and the role they can play in undoing the patriarchy that oppresses boys, girls and women. They have a pivotal role to play.

  • What did your father do to raise your sense of who you were as a girl and a woman??
  • What wisdom can you glean that may not have been seen before?
  • What did he do when you were young or what has he done since you’ve grown up?
  • What examples of courage has he displayed when the man box tells him otherwise?

This is an unusual Happy Father’s Day greeting for all the daughters who seek connection and have not found it … YET! I did at 40. And you can at anytime with some patience and determination. Don’t forget! They are as scared of our rejection as you are of theirs. Be kind and forgiving!

Your father gave you the one thing no other man ever could —YOUR LIFE!
Be kind to yourself and him! 

Kyraocity Works!

“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;


If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise


If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;


If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;


If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;


If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!”

Rudyard Kipling, If: A Father’s Advice to His Son (that could go just as far for a daughter!!)