#FCKH8 – A Bad Word for a Good Cause #NSFW #girlhood

“People know what they do; frequently they know why they do what they do; but what they don’t know is what what they do does.”
Michel Foucault, Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason


You may not care for this but I have to say, I LOVED IT!!! The bleeps in advertising and media don’t stop the hate or the violence and they ain’t filling no ones #swearjar. So let’s get real!

NOTE: The comment about twerking at 1:15″

Only critique I have of this is that there should be MORE black and brown women represented here. Little white princesses cussing is one thing. But perhaps our empathy meter goes WAY DOWN when people of color quotient goes WAY UP. #blacklivesmatter

This is from the Centers for Disease Control (including intimate partner violence):

Dating violence is widespread with serious long-term and short-term effects. Many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and family. A 2011 CDC nationwide survey(http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pub/nisvspubs.html) found that 23% of females and 14% of males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.   A 2013 survey found approximately 10% of high school students reported physical victimization and 10% reported sexual victimization from a dating partner in the 12 months before they were surveyed.

Need more facts to get agitated into action? Here’s recent data from 2014:

Where the relationship could be determined, 94 percent of black females killed by males knew their killers. Nearly 15 times as many black females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers. http://www.vpc.org/press/1309dv2.htm


 A recent report by the The Violence Policy Center (VPC) in Washington, D.C. found that black women are about three times more likely to die at the hands of a current or ex-partner than members of other racial backgrounds.

VPC, a national organization working to end gun deaths, reported that 94 percent of the black women killed knew their killers. More than half were killed by gunfire. And 64 percent of black victims who knew their offenders were wives, ex-wives or girlfriends of the killers. http://thegrio.com/2013/10/20/domestic-violence-awareness-month-black-women-homocide-intimate-partner-violence/ 

Girls and women should cuss some over this ish!!

Risk and Opportunity

Just checked out a former colleague’s blog Clearing for Love. Cat writes:

“In the film Evan Almighty – there’s a scene in which God (Morgan Freeman) says, “If someone prays for patience, you think God gives him patience? or does God give them opportunities to be patience? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage? or does God give them opportunities to be courageous? …”
It may not have been the best movie I’ve ever seen, but this quote is right on. We’re given opportunities to be that which we wish to be in life every moment: courageous, loving, open….”

I really loved reading this today and offer if to my readers. What opportunities have been showing up for you to take a risk; to be a way you’ve never been before? For me, I think it’s to be someone who is daring to have what I want in the face of circumstances I DO NOT like particularly with men. Being uncomfortable. Thinking maybe I don’t/won’t like him that way. Etc.

Had a lovely date yesterday with a friend who adores me. I tend to be judgmental of the ones who really truly adore me. I make it about me and what I am looking for. I could come from, as Cat suggests, how extraordinary men are being with me and just be with that. I got that yesterday. I didn’t take the risk yet but I opened the door to it.